Mission complete

It has been over a week now and I am proud to say I have succeeded in my detoxing challenge. Just to be clear what that was again, I wasn’t allowed to look on online webshops for a week. This because of the fair reason I was simply addicted. And I managed! It was difficult at some points but I never slipped. I think it definitely was a good idea, because it gave me the chance to do other things! I must say that having my boyfriend around was helping me because he kept me of my computer. That way I didn’t even think about it that much. It was definitely something that I would do again, because it was refreshing and it kept my head straight, focusing on more important things. My webshop addiction or as I liked to call it looking-everyday-but-no-money-syndrome is not completely out of the picture, I mean I will still look at things I long for, but it surely became less than it was before. All and all this challenge is officially over and I got an A+. And now just to make me happy, lets see if those webshops have something new..

pictures found on tumblr.

Inspiration

What to do when you don’t have to do anything? I like to visit tumblr and just scroll endlessly watching tons of cool images go by. This is a nice way for me to express my creative sense in some way and find some inspiration. Currently I have been loving some minimalistic photos, black and white kind of photos. And of course what would an inspiration be if it didn’t involve something that I wouldn’t mind to be the owner of? Take a look for yourself and be inspired.

click on read more for more inspirational photos

Stripes are always a good idea.

Summer is coming and I bought myself an entire outfit. In my detoxing post I told you about this dress I bought. So here it is! This beautiful and sophisticated striped dress is from Zara, and I saw it on zara.com a couple weeks ago and it never left my mind. So Wednesday I finally bought it. And I am very happy with it.  And today I also bought these cool sunnies. I think they look classy yet edgy. I bought them in a store called Invito. My boyfriend also bought himself a pair, that way we would get 50% of of one item. Which is always a nice surprise. His sunglasses are also very cool, so I am definitely going to steal them some time hihi. And then these really cool slip-ons from H&M. It is quite a story actually. They were a present from my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. He knew I wanted them for some weeks already. So he bought them for me just as a really nice surprise. But.. my shoe size normally is 39 (uk size 6), so obvious he bought them in that size. And when he gave them to me I couldn’t wait to wear them so I put them on and we went to the supermarket. Only when we came back my shoes gave me blisters on my feet and they really hurt.. so I ordered them online in a size 40 with the plan in the back of my head that I will bring the others back to the store. When the slip-ons finally arrived they were a tad to big unfortunately… So I went to the cobbler and he gave me insoles for the shoes and he also gave me some anti-slip stickers, which you stick on the inside of the shoe. You can see it on the picture! After that I went to H&M to bring the old ones back only to find out that there was a giant blue spot on one of the shoes! I was breaking out in sweat and already started to explain that I had no clue that that spot was even there… Fortunately they weren’t making any fuss out of it. So after all the drama and the uncertainty I can finally enjoy these great pair of slip-ons. Told you it was quite a story! Thank you again my love for the cute shoes! So tell me what you think of these great and lovely items. 

Click on read more for more photos.

Detoxing

So today I was cleaning my room, but I noticed it I wasn’t really getting anywhere.. Because I looked on youtube constantly, watching outfit posts of the people I am subscribed to. I do this to get some inspiration for my own outfits, and they often tell me where to buy the things they are wearing. But this was the problem. Because of all this incredibly convenient information I surfed loads and loads of webshops.. such as H&M, Forever21, Zara, Asos, you name it. As much as I hate to admit it, I have already seen their collection on those webshops yesterday and the day before that and if it is not on my laptop I open their apps on my iPhone.. Yes I admit I think I have a slight problem, I call it ‘looking-everyday-but-no-money-syndrome’. I did buy a dress yesterday which I also watched a thousand times on the Zara webshop. Plus I got some shoes from H&M as a present from my boyfriend. Who called today, asking me what I was doing. I told him I was giving cleaning-up a second, third or fourth try, but there wasn’t any progression, because of my lack of concentration. Right there he dared me to not look on webshops for a week. He said it needed to stop. ‘you can’t buy anything, so why would you visit those sites?’ and he is right. I am tormenting myself seeing all those great things but knowing that I can’t buy them. So I agreed to his dare. I am not going to visit webshops for a week, I need to detox. So starting now, here it goes, no more webshops for me! When the challenge is over I will tell you how it went. Please expect the worse, that way you won’t be disappointed in me when I fail.. wish me luck!

pictures found on tumblr.

Festival picking

Summer is almost, almost around the corner, and what is a better way to kill time during the summer than dancing your ass of at festivals. Yesterday I bought a one-day festival ticket; Pussylounge, which I told about a couple of articles ago. But I am still deciding on what to wear.. My work was canceled because people rather stay home during Easter. I actually didn't mind, because I am quite tired. But it mend I could leave early and create these collages on Polyvore.com. Which would not only help me but also you from choosing your perfect festival outfit. All shoes are from Zara, I am in love with the shoes they are selling currently, so make sure you take a look! 

Which one is your favorite?

 

My moments right now.

For the last couple of weeks I have felt in complete control. Not only do I have control over my body but also about my personal life. Lets start with something I should’ve had taken control over way sooner. I wrote about wanting to change my body a couple of weeks ago. And that I wanted to become healthier and do something about it. And I have. I think for about 2 weeks now, I have changed my eating pattern. I do not skip meals or anything. Snacking hardcore candy just changed for soft vegetables and sweet fruits. I switched from lemonade to water, and just sport twice a week. Besides if you count bicycling to school, I am exercising everyday! I feel healthier everyday, and it feels good to say no to chips and fries, but a piece of chocolate is allowed. I mean a woman without her chocolate is like a men without watching sports. Right, unthinkable. I lost a couple of kilo’s and I am currently on my ideal weight. And I try to do cardio once a week, but it just doesn’t seem to fit into my oh so busy schedule. Besides the healthy eating, I have also improved my personal and social side. I now how to deal with things I couldn’t before. Such as, knowing when I am right and when I am wrong. Knowing the moments when to just stop and when to fight for the truth and not giving in for the false. For instance, it is very funny to see someone making a fool out of themselves when they tell a great story, but you just know it is all a very big lie. Let me tell you a story of a girl who was having drinks with their friends, and she saw someone across the bar. She put her flirt-mode on and chatted with him al night, saying cheeky stuff an he is clearly into her. Buying her drinks, asking for her number, telling funny stories. Then a couple of days later she sees that he is in a relationship already for 3 months! But she likes the power she actually has right now so she keeps on talking to him through whatsapp, knowing he is talking either straight bullocks or is just very confident about cheating on his girlfriend. Either way he is thinking she is stupid and he is in complete control but in reality she knows better. And planning on the moment he finally realises he is busted. This is not the only thing when I am talking about knowing the truth. I have had a situation going for a couple of weeks, where someone is saying I am talking bad about someone, when clearly I am not. But since I know for real that I am telling the truth, it doesn’t really bother me anymore. It feels like I have grown up. I have grip on every situation I am in. I know what I am doing and what I can’t and can do. It feels great. Something else very pleasant, tomorrow I have a job interview at a supermarket! It is a different one than the one I wrote about some time ago. But this time I know I am going to go home with a job! I see myself enjoying thing more. I seriously can’t wait! Again this just shows how I feel that I am in control of everything. I just hope that there won’t be someone raining on my parade. This is just a wonderful weekly update I thought I should share with you. 

pictures found on tumblr

Summer vibes

It has been amazing weather for the last couple of days! The sun is shining, I am wearing my new light jeans and my ray-ban sunglasses. Music is pumping in my ears. Take note: Bakermat - Vandaag. A dutch DJ slash artist who makes the best mixes that sound like summer in your ears. Unfortunately I have a “exam-week” at school. Which explains the fact why I haven’t been writing a couple of days and why I won’t be able to for a couple more.. Luckily for me when I am making tests and study my ass of, the sky won’t be as blue as it was today. I hope this weather is just a preview of what I can expect for the summer, because I am not going anywhere this year. The reason for this quite simple; I won’t be able to get the money for it in time, because I have to focus on my schoolwork. But I can’t just sit still all summer long! Therefore I am planning to order some tickets for festivals. Such as: Awakenings, which is Techno music in the sun near Amsterdam, Decibel, a total different genre namely Hardstyle, and Pussylounge at the Park, which is also Hardstyle. I like both genres, they give a total different energy, besides there will be like over 10 different stages so I can vary artist if I am not really into a certain one. And there will be a local “festival” on the 19th of may, which will be free, and everybody of my city will be joining, and I really can’t wait. It has all different music genres and different DJ after each other because it has one big main stage. For a moment I was scared I wouldn’t be able to make it this year because I am in London around that time, but I figured out it is on a sunday and I am back on the friday before that! And I am planning to get my tattoo soon. Have to talk with my mom about it one more time, about what I want exactly. I am still thinking of the quote and I am also thinking about an arrow, because I read a quote that really spoke to me: “ An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming ”. I was thinking to either put it on the inside of my right pinky or the inside of my right index-finger. But since I already have a tattoo on my left index-finger, I want something different. But I am still just experimenting with what and when. Maybe getting the arrow in white ink. Still debating with myself about the arrow. Hopefully I have informed you guys a little bit of what I have ben up to. See you when I finished studying. Enjoy the sun! 

picture found on tumblr.

Finally, the perfect thing has arrived.

How do you call it when you have that complete feeling, because I am definitely feeling it right now.  I was talking with my mother and I told her that I was planning to buy a faux fur coat. She walked upstairs and she came down with this baby. It is a woven lamb coat, from PK by Pap'Kik which is a French brand. It shows somewhat darker on the pictures but it has a soft brown/beige colour. I was freaking excited! It fitted perfectly and it feels very soft. Plus I didn't had to subtract it from my clothing-money! My mom is always full of surprises, Isn't she amazing? I am very happy I can cross out another (oh yeah!) musthave from my wish list! 

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I think I might be diagnosed with a very-light-actually-quite-big form of shopping addiction. I don’t know when it became so bad, but whenever I have money, I need to buy something. I also find myself checking every online-shop multiple times a day. I create wishlists of things I want, and with the hundred bucks I get every month to buy clothes, that wishlist isn’t getting smaller but actually bigger. As if right now I don’t have a penny. Maybe 5 euros? And my salary will be on my bank-account on next friday. Which is actually not that far away, but I’m stressing out that maybe the thing I was planning to buy will be sold out. Just like the black Calvin Klein boots I mentioned a couple of months ago. Yesterday I bought a pair of Nike sneakers. A pair I saw and fell in love with immediately. My beautiful mom still promised me a birthday present, and she bought me the pair. Thank you so much mom! I am wearing them right now and I just can’t get my eyes of of them. And I don’t even realise that I am already checking out shoes I want to buy next. It is unbelievable. I come up with types of shoes that would be great for summer, such as All-stars, yep, my next shoe-goal. I also saw some double soled boat-shoes at H&M which I want. I just can’t seem to get enough, and I haven’t even started on the bags.. A couple of weeks ago I received my Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 Demier, I was craving for it for so so long. While a couple of weeks before I got a Hermes Birkin Camel replica for my birthday from my lovely friends (It doesn’t actually say Hermes Paris, but it is genuine leather). Even a couple of weeks before that, I bought myself the Antichic bag in cream suede. My Antichic and speedy are bags which I can’t use for school, because they are to small and sometimes too big for going out. So last week I bought that small faux leather bag/clutch with studs from H&M. I think in total I got 4 bags in 3 months, and I already have got my eye on a new one. It is ridiculous. Even though I am writing this now, and realising it should stop, I still haven’t changed my mind; I am still going to buy those boat-shoes and All-stars and I’m still going to buy that bag. I should be thankful for the things I have already, and I am, and also I need to be more careful with my stuff. For example I owed a nice black scarf made of acrylic. I wore it to death, it fitted with everything. But I lost it after a night out, I swear I wasn’t drinking because I was on antibiotics. Still it doesn’t bring my darn scarf back. I bought a new one yesterday, which costed me 10 bucks. I know it isn’t that much, but it was still quite an amount. You can do a lot with 10 euros. If only I didn’t loose it, I could’ve bought that beanie I saw on Asos.com. Again something new I am lurking on. It never stops. It is a cycle I am never getting out of; see something, waiting for the money to “arrive”, see something else I want to have as well, buy it when I have the money, see something new.. And we are at the beginning of the circle again. And In the end I don’t even know where I get all the money from, well I know it but it amazes me that I have so much. I think the best thing for me to do is look for things I need, especially with accessories such as bags and maybe shoes.. And save some money, so I can buy precious things, not worthless and broken-after-two-weeks type of stuff. But my mom says it is just a faze and this too shall pass. Maybe I stop after I have everything I want..

pictures found on tumblr.

Front row at relationships.

Every family birthday I get the same question; “Hi Jelske, how is it going with the lads?”. “Well, I hate to break it to you but, just like last time, I don’t have a lad”. Seeing the disappointment on their face makes me even feel lonelier. But I am always able to switch the conversation topic to something other than my love-life. But during those conversations I have two feelings, which are completely opposite from each other. The first one is; I don’t need a man, because I love the freedom and the feeling of not having a jealous boy looking over my shoulder all of the time. While the other feeling is telling me that I should probably start dating again, because this is just pathetic. I’m 17 years old and I am proud to say that I have never had a boyfriend. I have been dating a handful of guys which turn out to be jerks, and after the last one kind of ruined my view on men, I didn’t really felt like meeting another one. Most of my friends have boyfriends and seem happily in love and are oh so happy. In someway I envy them, because I do like the idea of a guy that is completely yours and who you can go to when you're bored. But then I compensate the pro’s with the con’s. Such as giving expensive presents, shaving my legs the entire time, be careful with the way you talk to other guy-friends because someone might get jealous. I do have to admit, when you are in a good relationship, there are no con’s because you have someone to share those “con’s” with, leaving the leg-shaving aside. You are willing to do those things for the one you love and then it doesn’t matter. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you just for you and who could join you in activities and fun nights out. Of course I have no idea what I’m talking about, because I haven’t met my partner in crime yet. 

As the single lady that I am, I am able to see a lot of the peoples behaviour they have around their boyfriends and when they are not. And sometimes it surprises me that some of my friends really do change their personality during the presence of their boyfriend. I also see the changes in their weekly routine. I do understand it changes but I, as a friend, see that plans you make with your friends are sometimes blown off for “nicer” plans with their lads. For example, planning a nice night out with your fellow girls and eventually halve of them needs to leave because they are spending their “good-night-sleep” at their boyfriends place. I have even had nights I had to leave the city because all of my friends I went with, needed to leave because they all, and I repeat all, had trouble or a conflict with their other halves. And that shit frustrates me. Because my party is shut down and I didn’t even did something wrong, and there is no one else left who wants to keep it alive with me. People who are in relationships sometimes forget they still have friends who are also free on weekends and are great company on friday nights. Again with the mixed feelings, I do understand they want to be with them. I think that because I am a free bird, I notice those things faster than friends who have boyfriends themselves. I don’t know if it is true but it affects me more than them, and correct me if I’m wrong! I am currently witnessing friends who are in a relationship where they aren’t even themselves. Asking me what they should text as a response to their boyfriends text, laugh about it, say you are going to text it, and then send something completely different and safe, thinking they may embarrass themselves when they text it because it has a different tone than usual. This happens to me all the freaking time. Which just leaves me with the thought; If you are not going to hit send, don’t ask me what I would have said. just send something that you would truly send, not something a perfect girlfriend would send. Simple as that. Maybe this is my jealous ass writing this article, but I just don’t understand that some people are in a relationship which might change the relationship they have with their friends only because they think it looks nice on their facebook page, newsflash: No one gives a damn.

pictures found on tumblr.

Cravings

Today my sister mentioned she wants to have pocket money. It’s not that weird, I mean kids want things, just like I want a Philip Lim bag. But my sister is 6 years old and already is she talking about money being the solution to getting things done. She is completely right, money gets you somewhere, but it shouldn’t be this important already for a 6 year old. I remember when I was 6 and the times I got things which I wanted, where on my birthday and during the holidays, which unfortunately followed right behind each other. But never did I even thought about asking for pocket money. I also didn’t play with the iPad or with my dad’s iPhone when I was little, because I was too busy enjoying real toys like Barbies and Bratz, which again I got for christmas. At the age of twelve I think I started working at a restaurant as the kitchen-help. I was done with washing my moms car and do all kinds of chores for money. I knew I was actually too young to work at a restaurant because I had to be 14 I think, but by then I knew that I could buy the things I wanted from it, when my mother would buy them for me. Lets just say that at a young age I already knew that when you want something, you have to work for it. And that never changed. Until I was 16 I always went shopping with my mom in Antwerp when I needed clothes, shoes and coats. She never purchased bags and accessorises for me, because those where things I didn’t really needed, but wanted. So I had to buy them myself, and I fully agree with her on doing that. But now that I’m 17 my mom and dad decided to give me a certain amount of money every month for me to buy clothes. This way I will learn to save money for things I really want and how to cope with money. And I like it, it gives me the opportunity to buy something the moment I see something I want, for example high waisted shorts, a faux fur coat and that damn hat I have mentioned 3 times already the last few weeks.. If the money is spent and that special thing crosses my path I need to pay for it myself. I work once a week at a restaurant in the city centre. I want to work more, but I have to think about my school, so I don’t earn that much, but it gets me far enough. Money does destroy people, it makes people mean and greedy. I can’t remember a day that I haven’t visited an online-shop. I see stuff and I get greedy as hell, and I know I won’t be able to buy it which only leads to disappointment. I think what I want to say is that we should be happy with the things we can play with and the clothes and bags we already have. And stop looking for new things when you just bought something similar. Not everyone is a shop-a-holic though, I have plenty of friends and family who aren’t really bothered that there bag doesn’t match their shoes. But, speaking as a perfectionist, I can’t do any different than making sure my outfit looks tight and right. Having too much money is nice, for a short period of time. But the feeling of finally buying something you saved for so long is simply the best, and knowing you bought it from the money YOU worked for is even better. 

pictures found on tumblr.

Random inspiration

Have done nothing productive today, besides coloring my nails white. It looks very nice and I can't stop looking at it. So I give you something to look at; pretty pictures with things I don't have but oh so crave for. If someone could tell me where I could get such a hat and that amazing clutch, do speak your mind! I'll be grateful for it!

pictures found on tumblr.

Bad week to be ill

I'm so sorry for not posting anything the last couple of days..  I have been really ill since last monday and I am still not really a 100% But when I'm better I promise I will post again right away, because I really do miss writing on here! The only thing I am able to do right now is drink my mums special tea, take baths and sleep the entire day. Unfortunately my bathroom window does not possess a view like that, so I just watch some movies and Pretty Little Liars instead. Tomorrow is a big event for my school, which me and some other schoolmates organize, and it is the biggest one of the year, but it looks like I wont be attending.. I'm very upset about that. But lets just hope for a miracle to happen and hopefully I will wake up shining and healthy! May your week be amazing!

Pictures found on tumblr.

Permanently quoting

About 2 and a half years ago, me and a friend of mine were at my place and she was telling me this story about an old classmate of hers who had all kinds of little tattoos on her fingers. She and that old classmate took a needle and some indonesian ink they got from school and whenever she and that classmate were bored in class she would start tattooing her classmate on the fingers. Nothing major, just some small hearts, a peace sign, an anchor, somethings like that. And eventually her whole hands where filled, a tattoo on each finger. 
So my friend an my crazy 14 year old mind started doing one on my finger. A peace sign. But I felt nauseous at some point and I decided to finish it myself. After about an hour it was done, a very small peace sign was inked on my left index finger. But I had to repeat it a couple of times to make sure nothing faded after 2 weeks. Till this very day I still have it on my finger. After two years it still hasn’t faded away. It does look a little like a mercedes sign right now when you look close, which I don’t like. But I never expected it to last so long since it was school ink and done with just a needle. My mother doesn’t really like it but she never punished me for it, and I don’t know if my father knows about it.. Maybe he does and he never really mentioned it. Nevertheless I don’t really regret it, but I wish I would’ve let it be done by a pro, (You can see the tattoo on the black and white picture in the right top corner). Now that we are talking about tattoos, about a year ago I started thinking about getting a ‘real’ one. I’ve been through a lot, roughly said I have had a though time the last few years. And I want to permanently ink my victory of that struggle. I want to look at it and get the feeling that I’m strong. But I want it to be subtle, private and Italian. Italian is a language my mother and I really like. I love how that everything sounds pretty when you say it in Italian, unlike German for example haha.

For a long time I wanted it to have something to do with a butterfly, because a butterfly stands for progress and freedom. So I thought about: ‘ La vita e comme una farfalla’ which means: ‘ life is like a butterfly’. But I’m not sure anymore about that one, because I really do like some of the Italian proverbs that I saw a couple of days ago. One of them is: ‘Quel che non ammazza, ingrassa’. It basically says that without struggle there’s no progress. And I really like that proverb, because I can really relate to it. But there is something about the words I don’t like, I don’t really know what it is, but there are a lot of a’s and z’s and m’s.. Mmm I just don’t know. But then I saw this one; ‘La morte mi troverà vivo’. This proverb literally means death will find me alive. Which I freaking love so much! It stands for celebrating life and live it to the fullest. That I can look back and know I had an amazing life. Let the positive and great memories overrule the bad ones. It is something I strive for, and I think it is important to look forward and let your past behind. So maybe when I get this tattooed on my body, I will be constantly reminded of loving life. And I really like the idea of that. The spot the tattoo will be inked is on the right side of my ribs, and I want it vertically (so you have to read it with your head turned). 

But I’m not 18 yet, and money is nowhere to be found. So if I want to really do this anytime soon I need to have two things; Money, about 200 euro’s and permission. luckily I do have the permission from my mother. The money part is just a matter of saving. But I think I’m ready. I already been to the tattoo shop a couple of months ago, but I didn’t want to make an appointment already, because that would mean that I had to do it at a particular date and I don’t want to be stuck to something this big. It is permanent and I need to really think this through. I’m sure that it  is going to happen, just not really sure when.

picture found on tumblr