Mission complete

It has been over a week now and I am proud to say I have succeeded in my detoxing challenge. Just to be clear what that was again, I wasn’t allowed to look on online webshops for a week. This because of the fair reason I was simply addicted. And I managed! It was difficult at some points but I never slipped. I think it definitely was a good idea, because it gave me the chance to do other things! I must say that having my boyfriend around was helping me because he kept me of my computer. That way I didn’t even think about it that much. It was definitely something that I would do again, because it was refreshing and it kept my head straight, focusing on more important things. My webshop addiction or as I liked to call it looking-everyday-but-no-money-syndrome is not completely out of the picture, I mean I will still look at things I long for, but it surely became less than it was before. All and all this challenge is officially over and I got an A+. And now just to make me happy, lets see if those webshops have something new..

pictures found on tumblr.

Detoxing

So today I was cleaning my room, but I noticed it I wasn’t really getting anywhere.. Because I looked on youtube constantly, watching outfit posts of the people I am subscribed to. I do this to get some inspiration for my own outfits, and they often tell me where to buy the things they are wearing. But this was the problem. Because of all this incredibly convenient information I surfed loads and loads of webshops.. such as H&M, Forever21, Zara, Asos, you name it. As much as I hate to admit it, I have already seen their collection on those webshops yesterday and the day before that and if it is not on my laptop I open their apps on my iPhone.. Yes I admit I think I have a slight problem, I call it ‘looking-everyday-but-no-money-syndrome’. I did buy a dress yesterday which I also watched a thousand times on the Zara webshop. Plus I got some shoes from H&M as a present from my boyfriend. Who called today, asking me what I was doing. I told him I was giving cleaning-up a second, third or fourth try, but there wasn’t any progression, because of my lack of concentration. Right there he dared me to not look on webshops for a week. He said it needed to stop. ‘you can’t buy anything, so why would you visit those sites?’ and he is right. I am tormenting myself seeing all those great things but knowing that I can’t buy them. So I agreed to his dare. I am not going to visit webshops for a week, I need to detox. So starting now, here it goes, no more webshops for me! When the challenge is over I will tell you how it went. Please expect the worse, that way you won’t be disappointed in me when I fail.. wish me luck!

pictures found on tumblr.

Summer wish list

Summer is coming, my favorite season. Looking forward to lay in the sun an get a tan. Here I have some clothing items i have been looking at for quite some time. The items are all from Zara. what do you think?

Nude face, Bright lips.

Lately I have my undivided attention for summer preparations. What can I wear, what should I buy, which shoes am I planning to purchase? But enough about the clothes and accessories, I have made my decisions about everything in that department, lets talk beauty. And today I am focussing on the lips. I have seen so many lipcolours I want to try out, especially some really bright and striking. Some take bright red as their daring colour, but there are way more options to choose from, for instance bright pink, or what about orange? Very colourful, very summery, quite defiant, but still wearable! Combining it with simple and nude make-up during day and adding a edgy black eyeliner at night. This trend has been around for quite sometime when talking in fashion-years, it goes back all the way to Marc Jacobs SS 2010, and even more designers where ahead of him. I certainly am not passing this everlasting trend, and I am definitely trying this out. Starting with a bright orange. Maybe it is really time to invest in a more expensive lipstick, leave the drugstore sticks behind and start a collection of summer colours that are eyecatching and headturning. Who is joining me?

pictures found on tumblr.com

My moments right now.

For the last couple of weeks I have felt in complete control. Not only do I have control over my body but also about my personal life. Lets start with something I should’ve had taken control over way sooner. I wrote about wanting to change my body a couple of weeks ago. And that I wanted to become healthier and do something about it. And I have. I think for about 2 weeks now, I have changed my eating pattern. I do not skip meals or anything. Snacking hardcore candy just changed for soft vegetables and sweet fruits. I switched from lemonade to water, and just sport twice a week. Besides if you count bicycling to school, I am exercising everyday! I feel healthier everyday, and it feels good to say no to chips and fries, but a piece of chocolate is allowed. I mean a woman without her chocolate is like a men without watching sports. Right, unthinkable. I lost a couple of kilo’s and I am currently on my ideal weight. And I try to do cardio once a week, but it just doesn’t seem to fit into my oh so busy schedule. Besides the healthy eating, I have also improved my personal and social side. I now how to deal with things I couldn’t before. Such as, knowing when I am right and when I am wrong. Knowing the moments when to just stop and when to fight for the truth and not giving in for the false. For instance, it is very funny to see someone making a fool out of themselves when they tell a great story, but you just know it is all a very big lie. Let me tell you a story of a girl who was having drinks with their friends, and she saw someone across the bar. She put her flirt-mode on and chatted with him al night, saying cheeky stuff an he is clearly into her. Buying her drinks, asking for her number, telling funny stories. Then a couple of days later she sees that he is in a relationship already for 3 months! But she likes the power she actually has right now so she keeps on talking to him through whatsapp, knowing he is talking either straight bullocks or is just very confident about cheating on his girlfriend. Either way he is thinking she is stupid and he is in complete control but in reality she knows better. And planning on the moment he finally realises he is busted. This is not the only thing when I am talking about knowing the truth. I have had a situation going for a couple of weeks, where someone is saying I am talking bad about someone, when clearly I am not. But since I know for real that I am telling the truth, it doesn’t really bother me anymore. It feels like I have grown up. I have grip on every situation I am in. I know what I am doing and what I can’t and can do. It feels great. Something else very pleasant, tomorrow I have a job interview at a supermarket! It is a different one than the one I wrote about some time ago. But this time I know I am going to go home with a job! I see myself enjoying thing more. I seriously can’t wait! Again this just shows how I feel that I am in control of everything. I just hope that there won’t be someone raining on my parade. This is just a wonderful weekly update I thought I should share with you. 

pictures found on tumblr

Front row at relationships.

Every family birthday I get the same question; “Hi Jelske, how is it going with the lads?”. “Well, I hate to break it to you but, just like last time, I don’t have a lad”. Seeing the disappointment on their face makes me even feel lonelier. But I am always able to switch the conversation topic to something other than my love-life. But during those conversations I have two feelings, which are completely opposite from each other. The first one is; I don’t need a man, because I love the freedom and the feeling of not having a jealous boy looking over my shoulder all of the time. While the other feeling is telling me that I should probably start dating again, because this is just pathetic. I’m 17 years old and I am proud to say that I have never had a boyfriend. I have been dating a handful of guys which turn out to be jerks, and after the last one kind of ruined my view on men, I didn’t really felt like meeting another one. Most of my friends have boyfriends and seem happily in love and are oh so happy. In someway I envy them, because I do like the idea of a guy that is completely yours and who you can go to when you're bored. But then I compensate the pro’s with the con’s. Such as giving expensive presents, shaving my legs the entire time, be careful with the way you talk to other guy-friends because someone might get jealous. I do have to admit, when you are in a good relationship, there are no con’s because you have someone to share those “con’s” with, leaving the leg-shaving aside. You are willing to do those things for the one you love and then it doesn’t matter. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you just for you and who could join you in activities and fun nights out. Of course I have no idea what I’m talking about, because I haven’t met my partner in crime yet. 

As the single lady that I am, I am able to see a lot of the peoples behaviour they have around their boyfriends and when they are not. And sometimes it surprises me that some of my friends really do change their personality during the presence of their boyfriend. I also see the changes in their weekly routine. I do understand it changes but I, as a friend, see that plans you make with your friends are sometimes blown off for “nicer” plans with their lads. For example, planning a nice night out with your fellow girls and eventually halve of them needs to leave because they are spending their “good-night-sleep” at their boyfriends place. I have even had nights I had to leave the city because all of my friends I went with, needed to leave because they all, and I repeat all, had trouble or a conflict with their other halves. And that shit frustrates me. Because my party is shut down and I didn’t even did something wrong, and there is no one else left who wants to keep it alive with me. People who are in relationships sometimes forget they still have friends who are also free on weekends and are great company on friday nights. Again with the mixed feelings, I do understand they want to be with them. I think that because I am a free bird, I notice those things faster than friends who have boyfriends themselves. I don’t know if it is true but it affects me more than them, and correct me if I’m wrong! I am currently witnessing friends who are in a relationship where they aren’t even themselves. Asking me what they should text as a response to their boyfriends text, laugh about it, say you are going to text it, and then send something completely different and safe, thinking they may embarrass themselves when they text it because it has a different tone than usual. This happens to me all the freaking time. Which just leaves me with the thought; If you are not going to hit send, don’t ask me what I would have said. just send something that you would truly send, not something a perfect girlfriend would send. Simple as that. Maybe this is my jealous ass writing this article, but I just don’t understand that some people are in a relationship which might change the relationship they have with their friends only because they think it looks nice on their facebook page, newsflash: No one gives a damn.

pictures found on tumblr.

Bad week to be ill

I'm so sorry for not posting anything the last couple of days..  I have been really ill since last monday and I am still not really a 100% But when I'm better I promise I will post again right away, because I really do miss writing on here! The only thing I am able to do right now is drink my mums special tea, take baths and sleep the entire day. Unfortunately my bathroom window does not possess a view like that, so I just watch some movies and Pretty Little Liars instead. Tomorrow is a big event for my school, which me and some other schoolmates organize, and it is the biggest one of the year, but it looks like I wont be attending.. I'm very upset about that. But lets just hope for a miracle to happen and hopefully I will wake up shining and healthy! May your week be amazing!

Pictures found on tumblr.

Permanently quoting

About 2 and a half years ago, me and a friend of mine were at my place and she was telling me this story about an old classmate of hers who had all kinds of little tattoos on her fingers. She and that old classmate took a needle and some indonesian ink they got from school and whenever she and that classmate were bored in class she would start tattooing her classmate on the fingers. Nothing major, just some small hearts, a peace sign, an anchor, somethings like that. And eventually her whole hands where filled, a tattoo on each finger. 
So my friend an my crazy 14 year old mind started doing one on my finger. A peace sign. But I felt nauseous at some point and I decided to finish it myself. After about an hour it was done, a very small peace sign was inked on my left index finger. But I had to repeat it a couple of times to make sure nothing faded after 2 weeks. Till this very day I still have it on my finger. After two years it still hasn’t faded away. It does look a little like a mercedes sign right now when you look close, which I don’t like. But I never expected it to last so long since it was school ink and done with just a needle. My mother doesn’t really like it but she never punished me for it, and I don’t know if my father knows about it.. Maybe he does and he never really mentioned it. Nevertheless I don’t really regret it, but I wish I would’ve let it be done by a pro, (You can see the tattoo on the black and white picture in the right top corner). Now that we are talking about tattoos, about a year ago I started thinking about getting a ‘real’ one. I’ve been through a lot, roughly said I have had a though time the last few years. And I want to permanently ink my victory of that struggle. I want to look at it and get the feeling that I’m strong. But I want it to be subtle, private and Italian. Italian is a language my mother and I really like. I love how that everything sounds pretty when you say it in Italian, unlike German for example haha.

For a long time I wanted it to have something to do with a butterfly, because a butterfly stands for progress and freedom. So I thought about: ‘ La vita e comme una farfalla’ which means: ‘ life is like a butterfly’. But I’m not sure anymore about that one, because I really do like some of the Italian proverbs that I saw a couple of days ago. One of them is: ‘Quel che non ammazza, ingrassa’. It basically says that without struggle there’s no progress. And I really like that proverb, because I can really relate to it. But there is something about the words I don’t like, I don’t really know what it is, but there are a lot of a’s and z’s and m’s.. Mmm I just don’t know. But then I saw this one; ‘La morte mi troverà vivo’. This proverb literally means death will find me alive. Which I freaking love so much! It stands for celebrating life and live it to the fullest. That I can look back and know I had an amazing life. Let the positive and great memories overrule the bad ones. It is something I strive for, and I think it is important to look forward and let your past behind. So maybe when I get this tattooed on my body, I will be constantly reminded of loving life. And I really like the idea of that. The spot the tattoo will be inked is on the right side of my ribs, and I want it vertically (so you have to read it with your head turned). 

But I’m not 18 yet, and money is nowhere to be found. So if I want to really do this anytime soon I need to have two things; Money, about 200 euro’s and permission. luckily I do have the permission from my mother. The money part is just a matter of saving. But I think I’m ready. I already been to the tattoo shop a couple of months ago, but I didn’t want to make an appointment already, because that would mean that I had to do it at a particular date and I don’t want to be stuck to something this big. It is permanent and I need to really think this through. I’m sure that it  is going to happen, just not really sure when.

picture found on tumblr

Working on my excuses..

One of my new years resolutions was, eat healthier and exercise a couple of times per week. It’s three weeks later and of course non of this has even been done at all. I’ve been thinking about it though, does that count, please? I’m just either finding lame excuses not to do it, or I just postpone it to the next day. Eventually every day is the same, same excuses; I don’t have the proper gym-clothes, not the right running shoes, all the fruit is gone so tomorrow will be better. Every single time. I really should just get some balls, maybe someone to exercise with for support and motivation. That would probably help, but my subscription to the gym has ended and it is snowing outside, so I’ve got enough gammon and spinach to come up with. But seriously I’m not going outside in the snow if I don’t have to, it’s not that i’m overweight I would just like to see my arms and buttocks looking tighter and fitter. I could see myself running already, when the weather has somewhat improved, or when I have invested in legit winter-proof running gear. But since it’s economic crisis, I don’t have the money for it, nor will my mother or father pay for it, since they paid for so much already. I can cross the idea of a personal trainer of the list, since I have no source that could pay for that (sorry mom and dad). An other idea was buying some weights and a matt and I could transform my bedroom into my personal little gym, but I’m just not that comfortable with that idea. Now all the excuses have been told, I should come up with reasons why I should exercise already. Starting with the fact that it is almost summer, I can feel the summer breeze times a hundred blowing along my neck (winter right). I’m an optimist. But I would like to look extra fit during the summertime, I mean who doesn’t? Besides that it would just be nice to look at my body with complete satisfactory. I know I have some trouble with self-image, not that extreme anymore, but it will always be a part of me. And last but surely not least, it would be good for me to get in shape. I notice that I start to pant quite fast after intensively running a couple of meters, ghehe, and that is just way too embarrassing. It’s not just about being toned but also about being healthy, and eating healthy as well. Maybe I should stop asking my mother to bring chips and chocolate milk.. Perhaps start eating more fruit when I want to snack. Eating healthy is a big, very big contribute to the goal someone wants to reach. So now it may now look like I eat so much, which I do, but I do have a fast metabolism which doesn’t make me come on as easily, but I don’t know it just bothers me. Most of my friends will declare that I am crazy and shouldn’t be thinking like this, but hey, everybody has something they would like to improve about themselves don’t they?

Pictures found on tumblr.

Compare me with SATC

I was watching sex and the city, I usually don’t watch programs of 10 years ago, but I realized how much wisdom was hidden in the series. Not only funny but also very true and recognizable words. It kind of made me thinking. I don’t want to compare myself with Carrie, because I can’t speak of knowing true love, marriage and full-time jobs, but I sure can talk about the same love for fashion and writing. I really love the way Carrie writes, of course some of it is just staged and written by an expert, but she speaks from crazy experiences and knowledge, about many things, something I admire and hope to reach one day. I know I write better in my own language, somewhat more fluent, but I'm hoping this will eventually will be the same in English, starting with this article. but lets get back to SATC. I don’t really have a typical SATC person you can compare me with, probably I will be a little to the carry side with a touch of Amanda because of my critical thoughts about men. It is actually simply to say that Carrie Bradshaw is living my dream, writing in NYC, with a closet I can only imagine.. for now. Although Carries style maybe a little too much for me, still admire her "not giving any", because I just wouldn't have the balls to dress myself the way Miss Bradshaw does sometimes in the series and the film. Maybe I will someday, I don't really know, I may be very different in 10 years. It may well be that just like Carrie, I will upgrade my closet eventually when it is the right time. Maybe one day I will also have developed my writing, and hoping it will be as good as Carries. But those are a lot of maybes and right now I don't have to think about them, I'm still 17 years old and I can improve my writing everyday until my goal is reached, I still have so much to learn and so much to write about.

I think I am not adding my dutch version of my writing to my posts, I must say writing the same thing again in another language is quite boring.. What do you think about this decision? 

Picture found on tumblr.

Happy new year!

Maybe a little late.. but Happy new year! I hope you had an amazing night and a good start of 2013. This year will be full of joy, love and fashion! Sorry I couldn't post for a while. I will make it up to you! Here are some more pictures of my night! you can follow me on instagram if you like: Jelskedriessen

Dutch. Misschien een beetje laat.. maar Gelukkig nieuwjaar! Ik hoop dat jullie een geweldige nacht hebben gehad en een goeie start van 2013. Dit jaar wordt het jaar van de vreugde, liefde en mode! Dorry dat ik een tijdje niet heb gepost, maar ik maak het goed!

Hier heb ik wat foto's van mijn nieuwjaars nacht! Je kan me volgen op instagram: Jelskedriessen