Detoxing

So today I was cleaning my room, but I noticed it I wasn’t really getting anywhere.. Because I looked on youtube constantly, watching outfit posts of the people I am subscribed to. I do this to get some inspiration for my own outfits, and they often tell me where to buy the things they are wearing. But this was the problem. Because of all this incredibly convenient information I surfed loads and loads of webshops.. such as H&M, Forever21, Zara, Asos, you name it. As much as I hate to admit it, I have already seen their collection on those webshops yesterday and the day before that and if it is not on my laptop I open their apps on my iPhone.. Yes I admit I think I have a slight problem, I call it ‘looking-everyday-but-no-money-syndrome’. I did buy a dress yesterday which I also watched a thousand times on the Zara webshop. Plus I got some shoes from H&M as a present from my boyfriend. Who called today, asking me what I was doing. I told him I was giving cleaning-up a second, third or fourth try, but there wasn’t any progression, because of my lack of concentration. Right there he dared me to not look on webshops for a week. He said it needed to stop. ‘you can’t buy anything, so why would you visit those sites?’ and he is right. I am tormenting myself seeing all those great things but knowing that I can’t buy them. So I agreed to his dare. I am not going to visit webshops for a week, I need to detox. So starting now, here it goes, no more webshops for me! When the challenge is over I will tell you how it went. Please expect the worse, that way you won’t be disappointed in me when I fail.. wish me luck!

pictures found on tumblr.

My moments right now.

For the last couple of weeks I have felt in complete control. Not only do I have control over my body but also about my personal life. Lets start with something I should’ve had taken control over way sooner. I wrote about wanting to change my body a couple of weeks ago. And that I wanted to become healthier and do something about it. And I have. I think for about 2 weeks now, I have changed my eating pattern. I do not skip meals or anything. Snacking hardcore candy just changed for soft vegetables and sweet fruits. I switched from lemonade to water, and just sport twice a week. Besides if you count bicycling to school, I am exercising everyday! I feel healthier everyday, and it feels good to say no to chips and fries, but a piece of chocolate is allowed. I mean a woman without her chocolate is like a men without watching sports. Right, unthinkable. I lost a couple of kilo’s and I am currently on my ideal weight. And I try to do cardio once a week, but it just doesn’t seem to fit into my oh so busy schedule. Besides the healthy eating, I have also improved my personal and social side. I now how to deal with things I couldn’t before. Such as, knowing when I am right and when I am wrong. Knowing the moments when to just stop and when to fight for the truth and not giving in for the false. For instance, it is very funny to see someone making a fool out of themselves when they tell a great story, but you just know it is all a very big lie. Let me tell you a story of a girl who was having drinks with their friends, and she saw someone across the bar. She put her flirt-mode on and chatted with him al night, saying cheeky stuff an he is clearly into her. Buying her drinks, asking for her number, telling funny stories. Then a couple of days later she sees that he is in a relationship already for 3 months! But she likes the power she actually has right now so she keeps on talking to him through whatsapp, knowing he is talking either straight bullocks or is just very confident about cheating on his girlfriend. Either way he is thinking she is stupid and he is in complete control but in reality she knows better. And planning on the moment he finally realises he is busted. This is not the only thing when I am talking about knowing the truth. I have had a situation going for a couple of weeks, where someone is saying I am talking bad about someone, when clearly I am not. But since I know for real that I am telling the truth, it doesn’t really bother me anymore. It feels like I have grown up. I have grip on every situation I am in. I know what I am doing and what I can’t and can do. It feels great. Something else very pleasant, tomorrow I have a job interview at a supermarket! It is a different one than the one I wrote about some time ago. But this time I know I am going to go home with a job! I see myself enjoying thing more. I seriously can’t wait! Again this just shows how I feel that I am in control of everything. I just hope that there won’t be someone raining on my parade. This is just a wonderful weekly update I thought I should share with you. 

pictures found on tumblr

Working on my excuses..

One of my new years resolutions was, eat healthier and exercise a couple of times per week. It’s three weeks later and of course non of this has even been done at all. I’ve been thinking about it though, does that count, please? I’m just either finding lame excuses not to do it, or I just postpone it to the next day. Eventually every day is the same, same excuses; I don’t have the proper gym-clothes, not the right running shoes, all the fruit is gone so tomorrow will be better. Every single time. I really should just get some balls, maybe someone to exercise with for support and motivation. That would probably help, but my subscription to the gym has ended and it is snowing outside, so I’ve got enough gammon and spinach to come up with. But seriously I’m not going outside in the snow if I don’t have to, it’s not that i’m overweight I would just like to see my arms and buttocks looking tighter and fitter. I could see myself running already, when the weather has somewhat improved, or when I have invested in legit winter-proof running gear. But since it’s economic crisis, I don’t have the money for it, nor will my mother or father pay for it, since they paid for so much already. I can cross the idea of a personal trainer of the list, since I have no source that could pay for that (sorry mom and dad). An other idea was buying some weights and a matt and I could transform my bedroom into my personal little gym, but I’m just not that comfortable with that idea. Now all the excuses have been told, I should come up with reasons why I should exercise already. Starting with the fact that it is almost summer, I can feel the summer breeze times a hundred blowing along my neck (winter right). I’m an optimist. But I would like to look extra fit during the summertime, I mean who doesn’t? Besides that it would just be nice to look at my body with complete satisfactory. I know I have some trouble with self-image, not that extreme anymore, but it will always be a part of me. And last but surely not least, it would be good for me to get in shape. I notice that I start to pant quite fast after intensively running a couple of meters, ghehe, and that is just way too embarrassing. It’s not just about being toned but also about being healthy, and eating healthy as well. Maybe I should stop asking my mother to bring chips and chocolate milk.. Perhaps start eating more fruit when I want to snack. Eating healthy is a big, very big contribute to the goal someone wants to reach. So now it may now look like I eat so much, which I do, but I do have a fast metabolism which doesn’t make me come on as easily, but I don’t know it just bothers me. Most of my friends will declare that I am crazy and shouldn’t be thinking like this, but hey, everybody has something they would like to improve about themselves don’t they?

Pictures found on tumblr.