januari 27, 2013

Permanently quoting

About 2 and a half years ago, me and a friend of mine were at my place and she was telling me this story about an old classmate of hers who had all kinds of little tattoos on her fingers. She and that old classmate took a needle and some indonesian ink they got from school and whenever she and that classmate were bored in class she would start tattooing her classmate on the fingers. Nothing major, just some small hearts, a peace sign, an anchor, somethings like that. And eventually her whole hands where filled, a tattoo on each finger. 
So my friend an my crazy 14 year old mind started doing one on my finger. A peace sign. But I felt nauseous at some point and I decided to finish it myself. After about an hour it was done, a very small peace sign was inked on my left index finger. But I had to repeat it a couple of times to make sure nothing faded after 2 weeks. Till this very day I still have it on my finger. After two years it still hasn’t faded away. It does look a little like a mercedes sign right now when you look close, which I don’t like. But I never expected it to last so long since it was school ink and done with just a needle. My mother doesn’t really like it but she never punished me for it, and I don’t know if my father knows about it.. Maybe he does and he never really mentioned it. Nevertheless I don’t really regret it, but I wish I would’ve let it be done by a pro, (You can see the tattoo on the black and white picture in the right top corner). Now that we are talking about tattoos, about a year ago I started thinking about getting a ‘real’ one. I’ve been through a lot, roughly said I have had a though time the last few years. And I want to permanently ink my victory of that struggle. I want to look at it and get the feeling that I’m strong. But I want it to be subtle, private and Italian. Italian is a language my mother and I really like. I love how that everything sounds pretty when you say it in Italian, unlike German for example haha.
For a long time I wanted it to have something to do with a butterfly, because a butterfly stands for progress and freedom. So I thought about: ‘ La vita e comme una farfalla’ which means: ‘ life is like a butterfly’. But I’m not sure anymore about that one, because I really do like some of the Italian proverbs that I saw a couple of days ago. One of them is: ‘Quel che non ammazza, ingrassa’. It basically says that without struggle there’s no progress. And I really like that proverb, because I can really relate to it. But there is something about the words I don’t like, I don’t really know what it is, but there are a lot of a’s and z’s and m’s.. Mmm I just don’t know. But then I saw this one; La morte mi troverà vivo’. This proverb literally means death will find me alive. Which I freaking love so much! It stands for celebrating life and live it to the fullest. That I can look back and know I had an amazing life. Let the positive and great memories overrule the bad ones. It is something I strive for, and I think it is important to look forward and let your past behind. So maybe when I get this tattooed on my body, I will be constantly reminded of loving life. And I really like the idea of that. The spot the tattoo will be inked is on the right side of my ribs, and I want it vertically (so you have to read it with your head turned). 
But I’m not 18 yet, and money is nowhere to be found. So if I want to really do this anytime soon I need to have two things; Money, about 200 euro’s and permission. luckily I do have the permission from my mother. The money part is just a matter of saving. But I think I’m ready. I already been to the tattoo shop a couple of months ago, but I didn’t want to make an appointment already, because that would mean that I had to do it at a particular date and I don’t want to be stuck to something this big. It is permanent and I need to really think this through. I’m sure that it  is going to happen, just not really sure when.

picture found on tumblr

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