februari 05, 2013

Front row at relationships.


Every family birthday I get the same question; “Hi Jelske, how is it going with the lads?”. “Well, I hate to break it to you but, just like last time, I don’t have a lad”. Seeing the disappointment on their face makes me even feel lonelier. But I am always able to switch the conversation topic to something other than my love-life. But during those conversations I have two feelings, which are completely opposite from each other. The first one is; I don’t need a man, because I love the freedom and the feeling of not having a jealous boy looking over my shoulder all of the time. While the other feeling is telling me that I should probably start dating again, because this is just pathetic. I’m 17 years old and I am proud to say that I have never had a boyfriend. I have been dating a handful of guys which turn out to be jerks, and after the last one kind of ruined my view on men, I didn’t really felt like meeting another one. Most of my friends have boyfriends and seem happily in love and are oh so happy. In someway I envy them, because I do like the idea of a guy that is completely yours and who you can go to when you're bored. But then I compensate the pro’s with the con’s. Such as giving expensive presents, shaving my legs the entire time, be careful with the way you talk to other guy-friends because someone might get jealous. I do have to admit, when you are in a good relationship, there are no con’s because you have someone to share those “con’s” with, leaving the leg-shaving aside. You are willing to do those things for the one you love and then it doesn’t matter. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you just for you and who could join you in activities and fun nights out. Of course I have no idea what I’m talking about, because I haven’t met my partner in crime yet. 
As the single lady that I am, I am able to see a lot of the peoples behaviour they have around their boyfriends and when they are not. And sometimes it surprises me that some of my friends really do change their personality during the presence of their boyfriend. I also see the changes in their weekly routine. I do understand it changes but I, as a friend, see that plans you make with your friends are sometimes blown off for “nicer” plans with their lads. For example, planning a nice night out with your fellow girls and eventually halve of them needs to leave because they are spending their “good-night-sleep” at their boyfriends place. I have even had nights I had to leave the city because all of my friends I went with, needed to leave because they all, and I repeat all, had trouble or a conflict with their other halves. And that shit frustrates me. Because my party is shut down and I didn’t even did something wrong, and there is no one else left who wants to keep it alive with me. People who are in relationships sometimes forget they still have friends who are also free on weekends and are great company on friday nights. Again with the mixed feelings, I do understand they want to be with them. I think that because I am a free bird, I notice those things faster than friends who have boyfriends themselves. I don’t know if it is true but it affects me more than them, and correct me if I’m wrong! I am currently witnessing friends who are in a relationship where they aren’t even themselves. Asking me what they should text as a response to their boyfriends text, laugh about it, say you are going to text it, and then send something completely different and safe, thinking they may embarrass themselves when they text it because it has a different tone than usual. This happens to me all the freaking time. Which just leaves me with the thought; If you are not going to hit send, don’t ask me what I would have said. just send something that you would truly send, not something a perfect girlfriend would send. Simple as that. Maybe this is my jealous ass writing this article, but I just don’t understand that some people are in a relationship which might change the relationship they have with their friends only because they think it looks nice on their facebook page, newsflash: No one gives a damn.

pictures found on tumblr.

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